My Dad would have turned 89 this week. He passed away two years ago, a few days after his 87th birthday. This is the story of Dad-jay, a blue jay who came to see me when my Dad passed, and who continues to keep me company today. Some of you may have read parts of this story before, some of you may be reading it for the first time, but either way, I hope you find some solace and joy in this true tale of how nature holds a place in our hearts.

My Dad’s name was John and he was a first generation Scottish Canadian. He had beautiful blue eyes, a great sense of humour and could cut a mean jitterbug! He passed away in September of 2018 after a struggle with Alzheimer’s. A couple of days after he died, I woke up with vivid thoughts of my Dad. I got up, made my coffee and looked out on the back deck. There was a gorgeous blue jay sitting looking back at me.

In 14 years blue jays have NEVER come near my deck. In fact, in all my years photographing birds, as soon as I would spot a jay on any of my hikes, they would disappear before I could raise my lens. But this guy was sitting right out on the deck, just feet from the back door. I grabbed some nuts from the pantry and opened the door, expecting him to fly off, but he stayed right where he was. I took a few steps towards him and left the nuts on the rail beside him. Before I could step back inside, he hopped over next to me and picked up a couple of snacks. It was utterly bizarre and beautiful!

My Dad had stopped eating towards the end of his life. The blue jay must have eaten and cached over 30 nuts that morning and all I could think of was that my Dad was ok. He was letting me know he was eating again.

My Companion in Sorrow

In the weeks that followed, Dad-jay continued to visit me every day or other day, while I mourned my Dad. I was in the middle of a kitchen renovation and the workmen could not believe it. Dad-jay look in the window for me, the workmen would call me and I would go out with some nuts. They would all stop and watch and take pictures! He was also fine with Pluto visiting, and she was quite curious about this special visitor getting snacks!

 

One day I was out on the front porch and he came to the wires above, called incessantly to get my attention. Once I looked up, he flew back and sat in the dining room window at the other end of the house. He sat there watching me as I came down the hall to get his nuts. He started bringing his lady-jay friend and although she was a little more timid, she enjoyed the nuts as well

Dad-jay’s Final Good-bye

A few weeks later, on the day we would lay my Dad to rest, he came to see me in the morning. I was making Rice Krispy squares–my Dad ate RK’s every morning of his adult life. We had a nice visit and I sat next to him and shared some peanuts. The following day at the reception, I dropped everyone at the door and went to park the car. When I got out of the car, a blue jay called from the trees. At the time, I thought it was his final goodbye, but I would be wrong.

Several months later, I had to undergo surgery. When I woke that morning, he was back! I loaded the rail with peanuts and he took them one by one, caching them around the hood. When a second death struck the family a couple of months later, Dad-jay arrived and stayed a couple of days, offering some mysterious reassurance that all was well in the afterlife.

A year passed and on the anniversary of my Dad’s death, this remarkable bird was in the kitchen window waiting for me, helping me get through that particularly tough day. His girlfriend, now a little less nervous, and a smaller juvenile joined him.

Another Anniversary and Dad-jay Returns

For two years Dad-jay has stopped by at just the right moments in time. I am often asked how I know it is the same blue jay? I just do. He comes to the same window, perches in the same spot and spends time next to me. For me, there is no doubt.

Last week, as the anniversary of my Dad’s death approached, he showed once again–in full moult! This time there was another pair with him and I feel strongly they are his family. They are timid, swooping in to pick up a nut and then quickly flying off. But not him. He still sits in the window or will hop over and stand right next to me as he chooses his peanut. He actually picks them up and shakes them, choosing to fly off with what I believe is the heaviest one!

I am delighted and reassured he continues to visit. Knocking on the window or calling until I show up, he stays patient by the backdoor. I continue to thank him for his company. I no longer question the wonder of it all.

Miss you Dad.

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